i had sooo much fun. we went to roundup... me, tim, khorey, aj, michelle, michelles new bf, minday, davin, britini and alisa. it was fun. then we went downtown. dicey rileys and capones and drank for the free. and then of course ended the night at dennys. and then i came home to throw it all up.
i woke up this morning... feeling like crap. but i picked myself up and went ot sherryls baby shower. which was hysterical. we were laughing the whole time, everyone else at the party probably thought we were really drunk...but we def crack ourselves up. and then went to brandons grad bash lol. it was fun. good food and friends. i seriously can't ask for me. when my friends are in town... i am just a much happier person. for real.
alright im out.
i think im going to start posting on tumblr.com it looks like a cool spot to be on.
i woke up early and talked to alina. it wasnt bad, i also spoke to her later in the day and she made me feel better.
i went to the doctors, and it didnt go so well. so we shall see. i cancelled my eye doctors to go to the regular doctors. so i get to go back on friday to the eye doctors.
So my secret santa was JD. haha. the one person in the group im not really that good of friends with, but he got me dreamgirls. i already have it, but its the thought that counts.
So in leadership, it was our turn to receive the torch. we are now torch bearers. and we are the shit..lol
i also got to see jazmine sullivan at cafe iguana last nite. it was pretty much amazing. it was just khorey and i. we seem to be the only ones up for that kind of stuff. we got to be right at the front of the stage. Fat Joe was there too...and one of the best parts..i looked up and saw one of my homegirls i use to work at smokey bones with..bianca! it was her birthday. i always like to see people i knew in tally. its nice
and if you don't know who jazmine is...i am going to need you to catch up, she is nominated for 5 grammys this year. holllllller
i talked to my mom today, about a few of my problems. i think maybe she might get where i am coming from now. hopefully. im still bleh about a ton of things.
i had my phone call with alina this morning, and she hung up on me. oh no. how disrespectful is that bullshit. i would never hang up on someone, she said i was messing up her space. omg. out of control.
anyways...neeeext =) hopefully tomorrow is a better day!
i'm sad. i have been sad. and i don't know what to do so that i can feel okay again.
i told my mom i wanted to talk to someone, but i don't think she believed me that i was not happy.
it takes something major for me to want to get out of bed in the morning. i don't want to leave the house.
i miss tallahassee. i miss my friends. im pretty sure there are a ton of things wrong with me, but i don't have health insurance. nor vision or dental insurance.
my job hasnt started yet.
and i hate waking up and having to talk to alina in the morning. and i just tell her what she wants to hear. i can't wait for those 10 minutes to be over. and i honestly think my life was just fine, before summit. now, not so much.
i had an eye doctors appt today... still can't wear the contacts. but she said with the sample pair i have, because of the holidays i can wear them for a little bit.
im slightly frustrating being stuck wearing my glasses everyday.
i got to go to dinner last nite, with khorey, nicole, brit, jaamal, and tim. i love my friends. haha. seriously.
tomorrow is my housewarming party. i have NO IDEA where anyone is going to park. but i know it will be fun. because frankly, when do we never not have fun when we are together.
i wrote a letter to alina, talkin about my feelings on enrollment, and she wrote back i made it up. i get some of it it could have been just made up. oh well.
but i had a conversation with mike this morning, and he made me feel better. i think that was my breakthough, i actually like this guy now haha. who would have thought it. but i did, we had a meaningful conversation and we both were listening to what the other was saying.
maybe i will talk about that with alina tomorrow.
im sad about my eyes though. i think i prob really did mess them up. please believe, im sure my eyes are the least of my problems.
my 2nd weekend was okay in the leadership program. i def think i like mike waaaay more now. i feel like THAT was my breakthrough.
i missed kim graduating. but ari saw it!!
the jingle ball looked like fun.
i won a scholarship for alison to go to the seminars! woop woop. i won by default..THANK GOD! i was told in order to even be ELIGIBLE for the scholarship she had to have the 250 down. and the other two people had put down a deposit already. the world works in mysterious ways, and i'm not even going to lie. the second i knew that i had a chance at it, i just KNEW i was going to get it. haha. because, from the last post..i AM WINNER. and when i WANT something bad enough, i usually get it.
i went bowling last nite for joes birthday. it was just me, staci, jaime and joe. it was fun.
khorey comes home today!! the rest of the month i KNOW is finally goin to be off the chain and fun. there is just something so special that happens when we all get together! *skeet skeet* its everyone minus andrea =( but its okay she is here in spirit haha. and now...here are some pictures of my second family =) aka the loves of my life. and PLEASE BELIEVE...my friends are WAY better than yours hahahaha
opposed to a loser? i would believe im a winner in most areas of my life.
when i really really want something, i guess i figure out a way to get it.
my team won a scavenger hunt, and our team won a scholarship to give to someone for basic and advance. i THOUGHT as a team we were going to decide a way to pick someone, but i get a call in the morning and then a text from marlene talking about how i need to align to give it to her daughter. and everyone else on teh team except one or two of us havent yet. skeeeeeer i DONT EVEN THINK SO. 1. how sneaky to call everyone on the team for you 2. you didnt even give anyone else a chance to state a case. 3. over my dead body will i align with that.
when i said, i didnt align, she talked about her being a mother, and im like ..thats nice. alison gets to go, so no matter what, u will NOT get my vote. alison is one of the most amazing people i have met in a long time. we click with each other so easily. but she doesn't know her own strength and she gets to through this program.
moving along...
im COMPLETELY ADDICTED TO LOST. i have basically watched the whole first season in two days. and the beginning of the second and i am in love with it. i can't believe how late i am with watching this great show haha. It seems to me, when it comes to TV tim happens to be always right. haha. how i met your mother and friday night lights are two shows he got me on to.
anyways im off to watch some more lost haha.
holler.
oh ps. i get to go to the eye doctor tomorrow and pick up my new prada glasses. and HOPEFULLy the eye doctor will prescribe me contacts! i have been wearing my crap glasses all week long to hopefully make my eyes better. Plus tomorrow is the start of my 2nd weekend in leadership. hopefully the weekend turns out okay.
and to answer my question...i am a winner...when i want to be.
hahah i don't think i wrote this or not..but i moved to miami with nicole. i heart her. im still learning my away around the city. we have a nice lil condo, on the 16th floor. its nice, furnished by my mother of course haha. so this post is for her...some roomie love...here are the only pics i could find of us hahaha...we will have newer ones soon!
a while ago =)
in tally @the moon haha ...also in the pic danielle and melanie
the foursome = love
i decided i need to update a little more..
i also am starting to watch LOST online, because it starts again in january, and i need to be up to speed. so i can watch it with everyone else. Steven just told me that he stayed up for for 24 hours straight watching it, because he was addicted hahah. niiiice
on thursday night, we celebrated brits birthday by going to chilis and then some of us went to howl at the moon. it was so much fun. and they are building one at hardrock, but i need to start going out down where i am. unfortunately everyone i know except my roomate, lives in broward.
friday night, we went to brits house and played mad gab. hahaha now THAT is a fun game haha.
saturday night was amazing. i got to be apart of something really special. there are no words to even describe how great it really was.
sunday, my leadership team had a scavenger hunt against another lp team and we won. *woop woop* so they have to cook us dinner.
so friday night, my mom went out and got a lil tipsy. frankly, i know she drinks, my friends have always known she drinks, but until recently its gotten slightly out of control. now she is drinking, to just drink. no reason, and by herself. and i blame bill (her bf) whom if u have met him, know...he is a little off. and by off i mean...druggie. i can't let go of my birthday incident in tally. i don't think i have been that embarrassed about something in so long. i don't usually let things embarrass me.
and of course our blowup.
and to top it, while my mom was out...he was callin staci asking "if she is dancing with black guys" AS IF THAT IS THE MAIN PROBLEM!?!?!? LOL i mean i know he is racist, but i don't see how my mom even puts up with that, cause i know she is not.
i think my main problem is that i hold my mom up so high, and i have always held her high, but right now she is falling apart and coming across very weak to me. and i don't get it. and these seminars we are going through are teaching you to be a better you. and i don't see progression.
it's just a little upsetting.
so before, i was trying to be friendly with him, for her and myself. if i do the same things, then i will just get the same results. so i am going to have an open and honest conversation with her, about the drinking. not bill, because that topic throws me off the deep end. and whenever ANYONE says anything to her, she just walks away. she avoids.
oooh AND
i went to the eye doctors, and he would not prescribe me contacts because he said my eyes were unhealthy and now i have to wear glasses all week. but i did get a new pair of glasses. they are nice. they have lil orange stones on the side.
now i just have to get to a regular dr. for a checkup.
Say your sorry That face of an angel comes out Just when you need it to. As I pace back and forth All this time cause I honestly believed in you. Holdin' on The days drag on Stupid girl I should have known, I should have known.
That I'm not a princess. This ain't a fairytale. I'm not the one you sweep off her feet, Lead her up the stairwell. This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town. I was a dreamer before you went and let me down. Now it's to late for you and your white horse to come around.
Maybe I was naÎve, got lost in your eyes, and never really had a chance. my mistake, I didn't know to be in love you had to fight to have the upper hand I had so many dreams about you and me. Happy endings, well now I know...
That I'm not a princess. This ain't a fairytale. I'm not the one you sweep off her feet, lead her up the stairwell. This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town. I was a dreamer before you went and let me down. Now its too late for you and your white horse to come around.
And there you are on your knees. Begging for forgiveness, begging for me. Just like I always wanted but, I'm so sorry.
Cause I'm not your princess. This ain't a fairytale. I'm gonna find someone some day, who might actually treat me well. This is a big world. That was a small town, there in my rearview mirror disappearing now. And it's too late for you and your white horse... Its too late for you and your white horse to catch me now.
Oh, Oh,Oh, Try and catch me now ohh Its too late To catch me now
im in love with my new apartment, only there is no cable or internet in the house haha. so i'm doing a lot of reading. i came to my moms to update and hang out. my sister came into town. she wont be able to do advance this time around, she couldnt get off of work! my mom is putting up the xmas tree. it's sooo nice! its always my favorite time of year. its the only holiday my mother ever decorated for.
i went to a guest event last nite. i really did have fun.except margo. my experience of her is that she is a little too high strung for me. like she has drank about 12 cups of cuban coffee. who knows. hahaha but still i can learn from her. but i def know, im THANKFUL FOR ALINA because if i had margo...i'm pretty sure i would have quit haha
dude. wardell joined the army. wtf. nothing against it..but i never thought it was something he would do. he said because he couldnt find the job, it was the obvious solution. right..until he is sent somewhere he doesn't want to be. but he said...anything can be better than jail. so coming from that perspective i could see how the army could be heaven.
im watching the world music awards on tv...ALICIA KEYS PERFORMED!!! YOU ALREADY KNOW IT WAS AMAZING!!!!! she sang "superwoman" and "no one" aaaah it was beautiful. i definately have a girl crush on her haha. she's is amazing. okay moving along...haha OH YAY MY SECOND FAVORITE PERSON JUST CAME ON...MARIAH CAREY..haha SHE CAN DO NO WRONG in my eyes!
its britney spears birthday today. and her cd came out today too! "hit me baby one more time" came out 10 years ago. wow. time flies. i saw her at the broward county fair when she opened for nsync haha and she was booed hardcore lol.
so i realize that im fairly quick tempered lol. yesterday i wrote that post while i was on the phone, but now stepping back i realize, eh it wasnt that big of a deal. i really do like alina. we had our phone call this morning and she said, if i keep doing the same thing, then i will get the same results. well i thought about it, and then mike called me this morning. and i answered. and just two days ago i swore i would not give this man a chance. lol. but i did, because i have to do something different to get a different result right.
we had a decent conversation he apologized. and said that he wasnt getting enough sleep yada yada yada. i can't stay mad at anyone for more than a day or two anyways lol. haha
well its monday. and i have a guest event tonite! we declared 30 people. lets see who is coming. i asked my friends and everyone just has plans already. its okay. im sure there will be another guest event soon.
