i wish..

all my nights were like last nite! haha

i had sooo much fun. we went to roundup... me, tim, khorey, aj, michelle, michelles new bf, minday, davin, britini and alisa. it was fun. then we went downtown. dicey rileys and capones and drank for the free. and then of course ended the night at dennys. and then i came home to throw it all up.

i woke up this morning... feeling like crap. but i picked myself up and went ot sherryls baby shower.  which was hysterical. we were laughing the whole time, everyone else at the party probably thought we were really drunk...but we def crack ourselves up.  and then went to brandons grad bash lol. it was fun. good food and friends.  i seriously can't ask for me. when my friends are in town... i am just a much happier person.  for real.  

alright im out.

i think im going to start posting on tumblr.com   it looks like a cool spot to be on. 

secret santa =)

today was a long day.

i woke up early and talked to alina. it wasnt bad, i also spoke to her later in the day and she made me feel better.

i went to the doctors, and it didnt go so well. so we shall see. i cancelled my eye doctors to go to the regular doctors. so i get to go back on friday to the eye doctors.

So my secret santa was JD. haha. the one person in the group im not really that good of friends with, but he got me dreamgirls. i already have it, but its the thought that counts.

i got khorey and he loved the movie haha.

alright im off.

passing the torch..

So in leadership, it was our turn to receive the torch. we are now torch bearers. and we are the shit..lol

i also got to see jazmine sullivan at cafe iguana last nite. it was pretty much amazing. it was just khorey and i. we seem to be the only ones up for that kind of stuff. we got to be right at the front of the stage. Fat Joe was there too...and one of the best parts..i looked up and saw one of my homegirls i use to work at smokey bones with..bianca! it was her birthday. i always like to see people i knew in tally. its nice

and if you don't know who jazmine is...i am going to need you to catch up, she is nominated for 5 grammys this year. holllllller 

i talked to my mom today, about a few of my problems. i think maybe she might get where i am coming from now. hopefully. im still bleh about a ton of things.

i had my phone call with alina this morning, and she hung up on me. oh no. how disrespectful is that bullshit. i would never hang up on someone, she said i was messing up her space. omg. out of control.  

anyways...neeeext =) hopefully tomorrow is a better day!

so

i'm sad. i have been sad. and i don't know what to do so that i can feel okay again.

i told my mom i wanted to talk to someone, but i don't think she believed me that i was not happy.  

it takes something major for me to want to get out of bed in the morning. i don't want to leave the house. 

i miss tallahassee. i miss my friends.  im pretty sure there are a ton of things wrong with me, but i don't have health insurance. nor vision or dental insurance.  

my job hasnt started yet. 

and i hate waking up and having to talk to alina in the morning. and i just tell her what she wants to hear. i can't wait for those 10 minutes to be over.   and i honestly think my life was just fine, before summit. now, not so much.  

oh well.

my eyes

i had an eye doctors appt today...
still can't wear the contacts. but she said with the sample pair i have, because of the holidays i can wear them for a little bit.

im slightly frustrating being stuck wearing my glasses everyday.

i got to go to dinner last nite, with khorey, nicole, brit, jaamal, and tim. i love my friends. haha. seriously.

tomorrow is my housewarming party. i have NO IDEA where anyone is going to park. but i know it will be fun. because frankly, when do we never not have fun when we are together.

i wrote a letter to alina, talkin about my feelings on enrollment, and she wrote back i made it up. i get some of it it could have been just made up. oh well.

but i had a conversation with mike this morning, and he made me feel better. i think that was my breakthough, i actually like this guy now haha. who would have thought it. but i did, we had a meaningful conversation and we both were listening to what the other was saying.

maybe i will talk about that with alina tomorrow.

im sad about my eyes though. i think i prob really did mess them up. please believe, im sure my eyes are the least of my problems.

skeet skeet mothafucka

my 2nd weekend was okay in the leadership program. i def think i like mike waaaay more now. i feel like THAT was my breakthrough. 

i missed kim graduating. but ari saw it!! 

the jingle ball looked like fun. 

i won a scholarship for alison to go to the seminars! woop woop. i won by default..THANK GOD! i was told in order to even be ELIGIBLE for the scholarship she had to have the 250 down. and the other two people had put down a deposit already. the world works in mysterious ways, and i'm not even going to lie. the second i knew that i had a chance at it, i just KNEW i was going to get it. haha.  because, from the last post..i AM WINNER. and when i WANT something bad enough, i usually get it. 

i went bowling last nite for joes birthday. it was just me, staci, jaime and joe. it was fun. 

khorey comes home today!! the rest of the month i KNOW is finally goin to be off the chain and fun.  there is just something so special that happens when we all get together! *skeet skeet*  its everyone minus andrea =( but its okay she is here in spirit haha.  and now...here are some pictures of my second family =)  aka the loves of my life. and PLEASE BELIEVE...my friends are WAY better than yours hahahaha

yeah, we like to bowl

group shot

am i a winner?

opposed to a loser? i would believe im a winner in most areas of my life.

when i really really want something, i guess i figure out a way to get it.

my team won a scavenger hunt, and our team won a scholarship to give to someone for basic and advance.  i THOUGHT as a team we were going to decide a way to pick someone, but i get a call in the morning and then a text from marlene talking about how i need to align to give it to her daughter. and everyone else on teh team except one or two of us havent yet. skeeeeeer  i DONT EVEN THINK SO.  1. how sneaky to call everyone on the team for you 2. you didnt even give anyone else a chance to state a case.  3. over my dead body will i align with that.

when i said, i didnt align, she talked about her being a mother, and im like ..thats nice. alison gets to go, so no matter what, u will NOT get my vote. alison is one of the most amazing people i have met in a long time. we click with each other so easily. but she doesn't know her own strength and she gets to through this program. 

moving along...

im COMPLETELY ADDICTED TO LOST. i have basically watched the whole first season in two days. and the beginning of the second and i am in love with it. i can't believe how late i am with watching this great show haha. It seems to me, when it comes to TV tim happens to be always right. haha. how i met your mother and friday night lights are two shows he got me on to.

anyways im off to watch some more lost haha.

holler.

oh ps. i get to go to the eye doctor tomorrow and pick up my new prada glasses. and HOPEFULLy the eye doctor will prescribe me contacts! i have been wearing my crap glasses all week long to hopefully make my eyes better.  Plus tomorrow is the start of my 2nd weekend in leadership. hopefully the weekend turns out okay. 

and to answer my question...i am a winner...when i want to be.